The fight to free Daein begins… poorly.
New to my blog? Here’s the first entry in this series.
Having just emerged from an introductory cutscene, the next few minutes of gameplay are extremely important. Here’s what the game gave us:
We immediately cut to Nevassa’s streets a few days after the events of our first scene. Micaiah and Edward sit around by some stairs, wondering where Leonardo is. Edward suggests that Micaiah finds out with her future sight, before she explains that it’s not a consistent power. Edward reasserts his concern for Leonardo’s safety, but the conversation is cut short by someone crying out for help. Bandits are attacking Nevassa, and the Begnion occupational forces are doing nothing about it. The task falls to Micaiah and Edward. A rousing violin motif leads us into our first turn of gameplay.
Edward and Micaiah, soon joined by Leonardo (who makes a point of chastising them for their recklessness), dispatch the bandits quickly. Their joy and the villagers’ gratitude is soon cut short by the arrival of Begnion forces, and Part 1’s antagonist, General Jarod. Here we learn that the Begnion soldiers have chased the Dawn Brigade out of their hideout before (I assume this is what the cutscene was supposed to be). He then proceeds to criticise their lack of competence in hunting down the Dawn Brigade, before… stabbing one of his own men in the heart? OK. After sending his men off in pursuit of the Dawn Brigade, Jarod and his right hand man Alder very villainously revel in the thrill of hunting down the rebels.
What’s wrong with this chapter?
Honestly, in terms of gameplay and dialogue, nothing. It’s a nice enough tutorial map. But the timing is way off. We open with a fast-paced fight scene and an escape into the night, and then immediately cut to several days later without indicating any of the first scene’s consequences. This results in messy pacing and makes the transition jarring. I also found it a little strange that the enemies were bandits. Don’t bandits live in camps and forts in the countryside? Why are they in Daein’s capital? How did they get there? This choice seems a little odd when you have a perfectly acceptable enemy force already in the city. This chapter should be a follow-up to the scene we started with.
So how do we fix it?
First of all, no more “A few days later”. This chapter starts right after the camera fades out. We could have it take place at night, or just point out with some dialogue that they’ve been on the run all night and keep the map the same. Whatever works. We’re thrown right back into the action:
Edward is separated from Nolan and Leonardo by the pursuing Begnion soldiers. Micaiah tells Sothe to take Yune and find a new hideout, before running into Edward. The two join up, continuing to evade their pursuers. Having finally lost them at the foot of some stairs, Micaiah and Edward voice their worries about the others; Micaiah is clearly most concerned for Sothe, while Edward frets over Leonardo. Micaiah, at Edward’s urging, tries to use her farsight to see how their friends fare. She fails. Their concerns are cast aside when they hear someone shout for help.
They race towards the noise, where they come upon a squad of Begnion soldiers, led by the cruel Sergeant Pugo. They’re shaking down a woman and her son as they return from the market.
“Hands off! I worked hard for this money! Aren’t you brutes already growing fat enough off our taxes?!”
“How dare you, woman?! The Imperial Occupation Army works hard to keep this disgusting town in order. What right do you have to speak to me like that?”
“In order? Bah! It’s your fault that Nevassa is so run-down in the first place!”
“Slander and lies! I’m afraid the Occupational Army will have to levy a charge for your foul words. Hand over your purse!”
“Ahh!”
Micaiah and Edward step in before Pugo can touch the woman.
“That’s enough. These people work hard, and they don’t need you stealing what scraps they have to live on.”
“That’s right! You guys need to back off!”
“What’s this? Looks like we’ve got ourselves a couple of young heroes. Are you charitable folk planning to pay up in her stead?”
“Oh, you bet! But it’s not money that the people of Daein are waiting to give you!”
“Edward! Don’t be so reckle-”
“Ah, so it’s a fight you want, lad? You’ve got one. Have at them, men!”
The soldiers form up, hefting axes.
“You’d best find a place to hide, ma’am. This could get unpleasant.”
“We will! Thank you!”
From this point on, the rest of the chapter is pretty much fine. There are still some changes I’d make, though. Micaiah’s boss quote, for starters, to reflect that they’re fighting soldiers, not bandits.
“You little upstarts are the Dawn Brigade, aren’t you? You give noble soldiers like us a bad name.”
“Noble? These people work hard to feed their families mere scraps. Then you come along and steal what little they’ve earned.”
“Hah! Since you’re so fond of heroics, why not come quietly and make me a hero?”
“May the Goddess have mercy on you.”
At some point in the chapter, since they’re engaging the Dawn Brigade and Nevassa is crawling with Begnion soldiers, Pugo will send a runner for reinforcements. Upon Pugo’s defeat, they’ll arrive on the scene, followed by an intrigued Jarod and Alder. This will prompt the Dawn Brigade to flee the scene.
Also, rather than straight up murdering his underling, we’ll just have a backhand or a slap with the butt of Jarod’s spear. Alder will question his use of excessive force, but Jarod will shut him down aggressively. The Imperial Occupation Army is still an army, and officers killing soldiers would result in a fairly quick alteration to the chain of command.
What has changed, and how does it benefit the narrative?
The first thing we’ve done is fixed the pacing issues that made this prologue so jarring. We get to see the aftermath of the Dawn Brigade being chased from their hideout rather than jumping ahead to another random scene. This creates a coherent sequence of events. We’re also given an explanation for why Micaiah and Edward are by themselves at the beginning of the chapter. Having them each worry about the person in the Dawn Brigade that’s most important to them makes it really clear again who these characters care about. We also establish that Micaiah’s farsight has its limitations. Having her immediately shut down Edward’s suggestion felt a bit off, so here she’s doing her best to use it out of concern.
By replacing the bandits with occupying soldiers, we’re not only removing a very confusing enemy presence, but we’re keeping the antagonistic force in Part 1 nice and clear. It’s fine to have Pugo be a bit of a bastard, since there’s sure to be straight up terrible people in any large group. This might seem like it undermines my point about humanising the Begnion forces in the first entry, but I meant for that to apply to the nameless underlings, rather than specific named characters like Pugo. So he’s still a prick, just a more well-spoken one. I’ve kept the soldiers as axe users (probably low-level Fighters rather than Brigands) to keep things simple for Edward. It’s still the first map, after all.
The dialogue before the chapter starts is meant to indicate a few things. I admit I’m not the best at writing convincing dialogue, but it changes things in a few positive ways. First, the soldiers are shown directly harassing Daein citizens, which reinforces the way they’re presented to the player. Secondly, we get a little personality from Micaiah and Edward. Micaiah shows a strong sense of justice by stepping into the situation, and Edward’s impetuous nature is demonstrated in his indirect challenge to Pugo and his men. Micaiah’s true maturity is hinted at in her attempt to reprimand him.
Pugo sending for reinforcements just makes sense strategically, and smooths out Jarod’s random arrival at the scene.
Finally, toning down Jarod’s hard-on for murder a bit helps to maintain the game’s realism. I really want to make him a more convincing villain, and having him stick to protocol (initially) will help a great deal with that.
Our changes to this chapter have gone a long way towards fixing the pacing of the game and Jarod’s introduction. This, combined with our much stronger opening scene and the changes we’ve yet to discuss, will go far in making Part 1 a more effective opening to Radiant Dawn.
I can’t promise any kind of regularity to these posts, but I hope you’ll enjoy them as and when I can make them.
Thanks once again to Drew for his input, and picking up on things I’d missed. Couldn’t do it without you, man.
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Chris Talks Games 