Hope you like exposition.
Miss a post? Here’s the last entry in Repairing Radiant Dawn.
So we’ve just cleared our first map. Feels good, right? We’re now shown a map of Tellius as the game’s bargain bin movie trailer narrator tells us what’s going on:
Like I mentioned in the first post, Daein has been left to Begnion’s rule by Crimea. The Begnion Army have rounded up all men of fighting age and stuck them in labour camps, doing a lot of fuck-all. Everyone else is hungry because they haven’t left anyone around to man the farms. Of course, our heroes the Dawn Brigade are standing up to them alone. Among them, Micaiah: our mystical Silver-Haired Maiden. Insert messiah imagery. Wait a minute. Micaiah, messiah…
Real subtle, IntSys.
After this expository break, we’re taken to the Dawn Brigade’s new hideout in Nevassa. Micaiah is nervous that Nolan and Sothe won’t react well to the events of the prologue, but Leonardo asserts that he doesn’t regret saving the townspeople. We’re then reminded how easily the Begnion forces could find their new hideout. Edward and Leonardo lament the fate of their country. Sothe enters, defending Crimea’s decision to leave Begnion to rule Daein, with Nolan following behind him. Nolan rightly suspects that Micaiah and the others have done something to force Begnion into upping security. A bashful Leonardo recounts what happened with Pugo. Sothe is concerned that Micaiah has been seen using Sacrifice, a gift she can use to heal people without the use of a staff or tome. Fearing detection by the increased Begnion patrols, Sothe and Nolan decide to abandon their hideout.
We then cut to this chapter’s map, an alley in Nevassa. The path the Dawn Brigade plan to escape through is swarming with Begnion soldiers and mercenaries, led by Isaiya. Edward has scouted around and seen that the other ways out are even more closely guarded. Nolan gives orders related to the strategy they should use, and the group gets ready to fight. After pushing through and meeting up with Sothe, they flee into the marketplace, where they run into the woman and her child Nico from the prologue. Forming a wall to protect their saviours, the townspeople are quickly scattered and Nico is struck with an arrow as the soldiers pursuing them start firing into the crowd. Micaiah and Sothe return and she uses Sacrifice to heal the boy, securing her near-deified status among the people of Daein. The people unite to allow Micaiah to escape, but Jarod enters and cuts several of them down in anger. The chapter ends with a short scene, showing us two things: the Dawn Brigade have escaped Nevassa, and that Micaiah’s abilities have consequences, namely the exhaustion she suffers from using Sacrifice.
What’s wrong with this chapter?
Honestly, Maiden of Miracles is one of the more watertight sections of Part 1. Of course, it has some hammy dialogue (one of the guards actually says “moldy onions!” when he can’t find Micaiah) and it’s a bit odd that Sothe is just… not there for some reason. However, these things don’t detract too much from the things this chapter does well: it showcases Nolan’s character very well through his wise guess at the beginning, and he shows a degree of leadership at the start of the map. Sacrifice is introduced as a plot element that will remain symbolically relevant throughout the entirety of Micaiah’s story and even play a role in the very end of the game. And, of course, we have a high-stakes escape from Nevassa that essentially elevates Micaiah to sainthood in the eyes of Daein’s people, justifying their fanatical support of her later in the story. However, there are still improvements to be made.
The only glaring problem I have with this chapter is the exposition dump at the start. Not the break itself, since every chapter has one to set the scene, but the content of it. Specifically, Begnion’s labour camp plan. Every man of fighting age? Why then are there Daein men of fighting age sitting in houses in this map, milling around in the marketplace later, and guarding a Begnion prison in a few chapters? The game goes so far out of its way to tell us that Begnion are dicks that it ends up contradicting itself.
What changes are we making?
First of all, just a slight amendment to that introduction scene. It’s fine story-wise to have men in labour camps, telling us that Begnion are bad. But perhaps the game could stand to paint Begnion’s treatment of Daein as exploitative rather than mindlessly evil. Why have the fields lying fallow? Begnion could instead be overworking the farmers and taking a huge tithe from everything they produce. Why have the fighting men doing mindless work? The Occupation forces could be forcing them to mine rocks, make weapons or even conscript the Daein men into their army, forcing them to oppress their own people on pain of death. Begnion would not let the resource potential of an entire country and its workforce go to waste. Anyway, on to the actual chapter.
Essentially, I’m making the first half of this chapter (everything up until the map starts) all about Nolan. Aside from being a certified badass and one of my favourite characters in RD, he’s the Dawn Brigade’s leader and his importance really does warrant some more characterization time. So the first thing I’m doing is taking Sothe out of the first scene. He doesn’t really need to be there. Everything he says, from reasoning against Edward’s resentment of Crimea to cautioning Micaiah about her reckless use of her abilities, could be said by Nolan while aligning perfectly with his character: the wise, cautious leader. As for Sothe, we’ll say he’s off opening a gate or something so that the Brigade can escape Nevassa. As long as the player isn’t left saying “Hey, where the hell is Sothe?” when the chapter starts, it’s okay. I’d argue this isn’t shafting Sothe’s character either: he was with us for about half of PoR, and his closeness with Micaiah means he gets plenty of screentime in other places.
Some mention of the Dawn Brigade’s backstories would be nice while they’re still in the hideout. We know a little bit about each of them from the designer’s notes (Yep, you have to read the designer’s notes to know about the game’s main characters). We know that Leonardo was born a noble, but lost his father and brother to the Mad King’s War. We know that Edward started training with the sword so he could fight in the Mad King’s War and elevate his social standing, but it ended with Ashnard’s death before he could sign up. We also know from this project’s first entry that Nolan was a merchant. Why not have a little dialogue that explores these stories a bit? Again, my dialogue writing isn’t the best, but bear with it:
Micaiah, Edward and Leonardo are talking in the Dawn Brigade’s hideout, recovering from their escape from the Begnion soldiers.
“I just don’t get it. This is our country… Why do we have to live in hiding, like prisoners in our own land?”
“Come on, you know why. We lost the war, and Crimea won. It’s not ‘our’ country anymore. End of story.”
“Except Crimea walked away after winning, leaving us to be ruled over by Begnion! And what’s worse, the war ended before I could even get a hit in. All that wasted training…”
“I don’t know, Edward. I think my family would say that the war couldn’t have ended soon enough. But you’re right. How could Crimea do this to us?”
“To be fair, Crimea didn’t have the resources to rule another country.”
“Nolan! You’re alright! Thank the goddess.”
“I’m glad you’re here in one piece, Nolan, but it’s almost sundown. Did something happen?”
“It looks like our fame is catching up with us. There are patrols everywhere, and it took me some time to avoid them. I’ve never seen so many soldiers in this area. Is there… something you’d like to tell me?”
“What makes you think it was us?!”
“Tricks of the trade, Edward. Now, tell me what happened.”
“Well…”
“I see. It’s alright, I would have fought as well if I saw that family in danger.”
“But Begnion soldiers spotted us as we escaped. We were careless.”
“Hmm. We’ll worry about them later. More importantly, Micaiah, were you seen healing anybody with Sacrifice?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Tsk, tsk… we’ll have to leave this place. Just imagine what Sothe would say.”
“Oh, I know! ‘Micaiah, how can I ever keep you safe if you expose your powers like this? Pouty pout pout.'”
“Haha! Hey, when did Sothe get here?”
“Oh, you two! Don’t be so awful. Speaking of Sothe, where is he?”
“I had a feeling we’d be needing to make an exit, so I sent him ahead to open a gate. We just have to reach the marketplace. Ah, but it would have been nice to eat just one meal in peace…”
The dialogue on the actual map is fine, and the scene with the soldiers and Nico is okay too. One small change I’d make to the marketplace scene is simply a switch of two characters. Instead of Jarod coming onto the scene after Micaiah’s escape, we’ll have Alder show up to command the soldiers, with much the same dialogue Crucially, we’ll have him not cut down the citizens that block the soldiers’ path, but he will knock them down and arrest them, ordering them to the labour camps.
What’s changed, and how does it benefit the narrative?
First of all, we’ve put yet more effort into constructing solid personalities for the members of the Dawn Brigade. Nolan was the focus here, but we learn a lot about Leonardo and Edward too: their backstories, their demeanor. Edward is still rash and youthful, prone to joking as shown by him mocking Sothe, and Leonardo is shown to be a little more solemn, but warms to Edward’s joke. Micaiah isn’t given much to do, but she has her big moment healing Nico in the marketplace, and her dialogue later in Part 1 about the pressure she’s under does her character enough justice that she can do without tonnes of dialogue here. Nolan is of course the star of the first half, hinting at his past and showcasing his wisdom, while removing Sothe from the scene absolutely solidifies his leadership role in the eyes of the player. We already know from the map’s original dialogue that he’s a fair strategist, too.
You might wonder why I’ve switched Jarod out for Alder at the end. It’s fairly simple, really: he has nowhere near enough screentime. Alder in the RD we got was just an ugly underling who idolises Jarod and then serves as a meat-shield in Chapter 9, dying at the hands of the Black Knight to protect his general. We’re given no reason to care about him, but the plan for this part of the game is to develop Alder a little: we already have him in the last chapter disagreeing with Jarod but bending to his command in the end, in an attempt to solidify him as a man who may disagree with Jarod on occasion, but still respects and reveres him enough to put his life on the line. In addition, by having tangible in-game references to the Daein work camps before we see them, we take a small step towards a better-constructed world.
Lastly, our little change to the introduction scene makes Begnion more of an antagonistic force and less of a cackling, hand-wringing caricature, which is what we’ve wanted from the get-go.
All in all, this chapter was pretty okay to start with. However, RD needed a much more character-driven narrative, and these small changes are aiming to create that without altering too many elements of the story.
Thanks again to my (sur)nameless treasure, Drew.
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Chris Talks Games 